Sometimes in life, we need Prince Charming to come to the rescue, and sometimes all we need is a little bit of faith. And no matter what your religious, sexual, political, or health obligation or criteria is, sometimes all we just need is a dose of love, which is bound to make any situation right. But where you go to search for love, and the intentions you seek out vary on you, and just what exactly you may be looking for at the moment.
You see, it is not everyday that you stumble through the streets of New York City slightly intoxicated, or call on a taxi to bring you to yet another destination be it a bar, club, house party, or after-hours, that probably should be your home. Yet you stumble with the hopes and intentions, of what you just so eagerly came out to look for. Either a fun night out be it, or the party you’ve been searching for a lifetime. And its in that fleeting moment as you cross-cross through the labyrinth we call the “grid” of NYC that you come to realize that the city is not going anywhere. In fact, you are.
Maze after maze, block after block, you swoop, sway, cross, and dodge traffic, people, buildings, and pets alike. Perhaps you have already had a few too many and perhaps you will continue to have a few too many more tonight, but in reality this is what you came for. In a time where millennials are currently dominating the better portion of the United States population and rapidly changing the overall attitude, customs, and traditions; the way in which we network, date, and talk to people is changing as well.
Gone are the days when you meet up with friends at happy hour to catch up with what is going on in each others lives, and KiKi about everything that has happened since you saw each other last. Our cell phones have given us the ability to remain constantly connected with our family, friends, exes, loved ones, enemies, or work-mates through the endless plethora of social networking that exists whether it is texting, emailing, social media apps, blogging websites, and the actual phone feature on your phone itself, which often seems to get swept under the rug. Gone are the days of snail-mail, phone conversations that cost ten cents a minute, and payphones.
Even talking to random strangers in bars that you may think are cute, or may have seen around and have a crush on has become replaced with taking out your phone, swiping left or right, and anxiously waiting for their immediate response only to wonder why you even swiped right to begin with after a match is made. Nervous conversations with a boy or girl you like is hidden behind the facade of keystrokes, and anxiety is subdued. Flirty, cute in-person conversations are replaced with asking for more pics, asking if someone is DTF (as romantic as it sounds), or perhaps even asking someones sexual preferences and tendencies. All of which would probably never have been asked if the encounter had actually happened in person.
And this is all because we are the generation of now. We want everything faster than it can be given to us, and we just can not fathom or comprehend certain things like why certain shops are not open twenty-four hours, why business hours are a thing, and why we can not get our Starbucks Coffee immediately and pay from our iPhone. When every little mishap is an inconvenience to us, we struggle to realize the greater problems that haunt the world, and as sad as it is, if it does not have a direct impact on us, we tend not to care, or turn a blind eye.
But can anyone blame us? We grew up in a time where technology changed extremely fast, civil rights were pretty solidly established (throughout most if not all first-world countries), and the general idea was that our generation should have a better life than our parents generation. We were taught that things were never really our fault, and then you wonder why we can not take the blame for anything. We were taught that even if we lost or came in last place, that we were still winners and then you wonder why we never strive to be the best or are missing motivation, when we can all win. We were taught that education was one of the most important virtues and no one should be provided a sub-optimal education, and the result is our generation being $1 trillion in student debt. We were taught not to bash one another, yell at, and to not say anything that is not nice, yet when you have to give us constructive criticism versus yelling at us you yourselves are surprised.
We are a generation that grew up with the microwave, freezers, endless grocery store aisles all filled with the same genetically modified or processed foods made by the same few corporations, fast-food restaurants on every corner, and perhaps the worst; the drive-thru. And even though obesity sweeps our nation throughout every generation, we have yet to make solid changes in reforming the products in our supermarkets or changing the subprime food quality sold at these fast food restaurants. Instead we are concerned with greater world issues, such as when the next iPhone release will be, if you are wearing the latest hottest brands, or if you’re driving the nicest car all of your friends will be jealous of.
So we resort to dating just the way we know how to do it; through online means. Whether you choose OkCupid, Match.com, Grindr, Tinder, Blendr, Zoosk, eHarmony or an ungodly multitude of them, we are all hoping to find love within a generation that does not necessarily want love in the conventional sense. And after a while, site after site, it all starts to become the same. The same people, the same conversations, and the same witty banter. You feel like you are having endless moments of deja vu, and are trapped in a web of endless conversations with people you have not even met before. You hope that based off of a few pictures that this individual has decided to share with you, that you have found your soul mate.
But as millennials , are we really looking for our soul mate, or just the idea of one? We want someone to have to talk too, share moments with, come to family parties, weddings, and funerals with us, to share the holidays with, to Instagram cute pictures of the two of you holding hands together on some beach in the Phi Phi Islands, and a cuddle-buddy. But we do not want the messiness, sloppiness, negatives that come with it as well. We want to only see the positives, and live in a shallow world where relationships are fun and easy and nothing bad can happen. Even if it is with the idea that when times get tough, we can always run, as messed up as it us.
So in the end we just keep trudging through the endless abyss of modern-day warfare we call our home-life, work, and daily routines. Day in and day out we search for something or someone who will complete us, when in reality we should be searching for some one that enhances us. Someone that helps to bring out the positives in one another, and are interested in each others activities and hobbies. But in the meantime we continue to use social media apps, dating websites, missed connections pages, and whatever other online means we can discover. Gone are the days of going out to meet people and have real-life conversations with some one and actually getting to know them for who they are. And sadly gone are the days of liking someone for their personality or charm, rather than liking them based solely on their looks.
Call me old-fashioned but I’ll still be out on the weekends at restaurants, happy-hours, bars, and clubs with my girlfriends having fun and searching for my Prince Charming in the meantime. Until next time my kittens, XoXo.